Drowning...

You make me feel like crap.

Every word that comes out of your mouth just depresses me more.

I hate you. So fucking much.

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Today's Truth: Regrets

If one of my friends read this blog, they will probably fall flat on their faces with surprise.

I'M A SCAM. I am living a life full of lies and regrets. I smile everyday eventhough my heart is aching.

Most people would think I live an awesome life. On the outside, it probably looks that way. But believe me, I don't have the greatest life.

I have so many regrets...so many what-ifs, so many unfinished business.

I just want to disappear...


- Posted using my Blackberry Bold

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Unanswered Question

Why is it so hard to be happy? Why am I always bitter nowadays? I've never been like this...I used to be a happy-go-lucky person!

Help me find the person I want to be...the person I NEED to be!

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Today's Truth: Appreciation Matters

I need to feel appreciated. By my husband.

It's not enough to praise me "silently". I sometimes need to hear that what I do is important, too.

I work full time. I take classes at the local university a few nights a week (I didn't graduate college because we got married and I had to drop out of school).

So anyway, I work and I go to school. Not only that but I do literally everything around the house: take care of the kids, fix dinner, do errands and appointments, clean, do the laundry, wash the dishes, take out the trash-- even pick up dog poop at the backyard. Except for the fact that he pays most of the bill, I literally run a one-man show!

I'm not asking to be given a pat at the back every single time I do something! I just want to hear this words once in a while: "I appreciate you."

You have no idea how much this will save a crumbling marriage!

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Today's Truth: It Will Never Be Enough

So I was quietly eating my lunch one day when I heard two ladies talking on the next table. Mind you, I wasn't eavesdropping BUT my lunch was so boring and their conversation was extra juicy!

So apparently, GIRL #1 was telling her friend that she is splitting up with the hubby.

You would think that this would not interest me since this sort of scenario has been happening to other couples left and right anyways. Right?

But she said something so profound and simple it almost made me choke on my sandwich:

"I have fallen out of love with him. He begged me to stay. He promised to give me the world. What he doesn't understand is that right now I do not care if he gives me the world! I have waited a long time for him to give me the world. I am so tired of waiting. I am so tired of everything. It doesn't matter now. I don't need anything from him anymore..."

You see, sometimes it's as simple as falling out of love.

It just dies...

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